As an English teacher, one of the most important concepts I teach my students is respect.
But respect isn’t just about polite language—it's also about understanding cultural nuances and how language varies across different contexts.
In English-speaking cultures, expressions of respect are often embedded in everyday language.
Phrases like "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" are simple but powerful ways to show consideration.
However, when learning English, it's important to recognise that cultural norms around respect can differ.
For example, whilst in Italy, it’s common to address problems directly and expect immediate results, in many English-speaking cultures, particularly in the UK, respect is often shown through a more polite and measured approach.
For example, if you’re unhappy with a service or product, in Italy, it might be normal to directly express frustration or use a straightforward language. In English, however, this would often come across as rude. Instead, you might say something like, “I’m afraid there seems to be an issue with this. Could you kindly explain how we can resolve this?” This approach not only shows respect, but also encourages a more cooperative response.
Or, instead of saying, “You made a mistake,” you might soften it by saying, “There seems to be a misunderstanding here, let’s look into it together.”
When learning English, it’s important to adjust not only your vocabulary but also your tone and the way you express requests or dissatisfaction.
Additionally, certain words or phrases that are respectful in one culture may not have the same connotation in another.
A word like "sir" or "ma'am" might be seen as polite in one country, but overly formal in British English. This can lead to confusion for students who are learning the language and might unintentionally use terms that feel out of place or awkward.
Another word that is often misused is "darling" or "dear" which, in Italy, might be used as an affectionate way to address someone you have a good rapport with or care for, but is often perceived as crossing boundaries in British English, where it's only used between friends or when the context/situation allows the speakers to use it.
As you improve your English skills, remember to be sensitive to these differences.
Being sensitive to feedback is surely important and if you feel you've been wronged by someone it's important to tell them, in a clear and cultural-relevant way.
Here are 3 examples of situations that could potentially lead to a misunderstanding and damage your English learning experience:
Direct Complaints vs. Polite Requests
Italian Approach: It’s common in Italy to express dissatisfaction directly, such as saying, "This is not what I asked for, it's not my problem!"
English Misunderstanding: In English, especially in British English, this directness can come across as impolite or confrontational. A more respectful approach would be to soften the tone: "I’m afraid there seems to be a mistake with my order. Could you kindly help me resolve it?"
Why It Can Cause Issues: The tone in English tends to be less aggressive and more collaborative when dealing with complaints.
Pointing Fingers or Blaming
Italian Approach: Italians might directly point out someone’s mistake, saying, "You forgot to do this." or "I don't understand you have to explain this again because you said this..".
English Misunderstanding: In English, especially in more formal settings, this is seen as rude. It’s better to phrase it more politely: "It looks like this was missed—can we go over it again?" or "Can you said that again please?"
Why It Can Cause Issues: Directly blaming someone can sound accusatory in English, which could create defensiveness or tension.
Being Too Blunt in Requests
Italian Approach: When asking for something, Italians often use direct commands: "Pass me the salt."
English Misunderstanding: In English, this can seem abrupt or demanding. A more polite way would be, "Could you pass me the salt, please?" or "Would you mind passing the salt?"
Why It Can Cause Issues: In English, especially in more formal or unfamiliar settings, politeness is highly valued. A lack of "please" or "could you" can feel like a demand rather than a request.
If in doubt, it’s always a good idea to observe how native speakers interact and ask questions when you're unsure.
Respect is universal, but the way we express it can vary—so keep an open mind and embrace the diversity of communication styles!
But there's more, here are 7 useful expressions you can use to talk about respect in British English and sound more fluent.
You can use them in your journal to talk about what does respect mean for you or reflect on something you have recently experienced, when commenting on a social media post but also in everyday conversations and messages with friends and family. A
Comments